this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
