Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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