Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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