fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
