Swine flu. Run for my life!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
