I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Randomize