Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
