I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
