I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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