Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
