Whod you bang
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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