Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
She said her name was "party"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
