...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
