please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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