In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
