Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
