i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
