I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
