i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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