So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Randomize
