This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
