I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
