im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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