i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
