Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Randomize
