I murdered the dance floor call the cops
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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