yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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