I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
