just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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