I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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