i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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