I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
