hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
