VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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