fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
