Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
