In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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