woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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