They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
