I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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