I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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