Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
