I met the friendliest cop last night
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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