all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I can feel your judgement through the phone
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
