Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
