so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
