So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
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I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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