STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
