if i died would you start the facebook group?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
