It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
where does the pee come out of this thing
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
