Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Boobs speak an international language.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
