apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
