I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
