just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
