Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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