im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
