Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
