i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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