Your tits are I can't wait for
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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