Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
