im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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