You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
