my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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