hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
