haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
