I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
