my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
